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Haunted by memories, a warrior seeks change

May-27-2007 » Filed Under: 1/25 SBCT

The following article is a detailed profile of retired CSM Thomas Adams, who is struggling to recover from PTSD. He served with the 1/25 SBCT in Mosul.

By Hal Bernton, Seattle Times

SPANAWAY, Pierce County -- By the end of his tour in Iraq, Command Sgt. Maj. Thomas Adams was crushed by memories. Too many memorial services for dead soldiers. Too many visits to the wounded in the hospital wards. Too many innocents -- men, women and children -- blown up by insurgent bombs or killed inadvertently by his Fort Lewis brigade.

Adams, the highest-ranking enlisted soldier in his brigade, started taking tranquilizers to help him sleep. In an unusual step, he shared his struggles with the homeward-bound troops.

At a dusty desert base in Kuwait, Adams went from unit to unit, telling his fellow soldiers that he was not OK and would seek counseling when he returned. He urged others to do the same.

In the Army, where soldiers often mask the traumas of war, this was an unsettling confession from a leader who had unflinchingly tackled the grimmest of tasks -- even washing out the insides of armored Stryker vehicles bloodied by human remains.

Since his return, Adams has shown a different kind of fortitude, emerging as a powerful advocate challenging the Army to better confront the mental wounds of war. His efforts helped expand mental-health counseling at Fort Lewis for returning soldiers -- and improve training for Iraq-bound soldiers on the emotional hardships of combat.

"I had all generals from all walks of life come down and tell us how good we are and sprinkle holy water on us," said Adams, referring to his pre-Iraq training. "But not one professional came and talked to us about what it's going to be like when we lose somebody for real."

Adams' own homecoming has been shadowed by battles with post-traumatic stress disorder and the recent discovery of a possible mild brain injury.

When he first arrived back in Washington, watching Iraq combat scenes on television could plunge him into days of despair. He grew more forgetful, and his vision occasionally blurred. Sometimes, on the worst days, Adams wished he had died in Iraq among what he calls his "warriors."

His personal troubles mirror the emergence of mental-health issues as a critical concern at military posts across the nation.

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Comments For "Haunted by memories, a warrior seeks change":

I have started writing this comment several times, and am still not sure what I want to say, or how I want to say it. I so admire CSM Adams for coming forward and showing his fellow soldiers, enlisted and officers alike, that they are not alone in their fears for their mental health. I don't think there is any way to prepare them for what they will be seeing and experiencing, but there MUST be preparation for their return. Perhaps with more focus on PTSD, there will come a time when soldiers will be willing to accept (and the military will be willing to treat) mental health issues without the worry of losing their jobs and careers. Thank you, Sgt Major Adams.

Posted by: Dana's Mom 4/9 IN 4/2 (SBCT) [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 27, 2007 10:20 PM

I had the honor of working for Lancer during CSM Adams' tenure. In a sense, this news comes as quite a surprise to me - CSM Adams never lost his poise as a leader, never outwardly showed any vulnerability. I wish him well in his recovery, and in his battle for our Warriors.

Posted by: currahee [TypeKey Profile Page] | May 29, 2007 5:51 PM

I am a Psychologist and a mom of a stryker warrior in Iraq (PFC Gephart,Rory, 2-1 CAV, 4/2 ID). I cannot express the degree of my respect for any CSM who would buck the Army pressure to present that everything is OK. I am a civilian who does not understand the system and is quite scared for the number of soldiers returning from war. Specializing in geriatrics, my patients still re-live the Battle of the Bulge and the concentration camps. Thank you CSM Adams for your guts. Dr. Anne Gephart Moore

Posted by: annemoore [TypeKey Profile Page] | June 12, 2007 10:12 PM

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